Craig and I were having a good discussion tonight about his take away from reading the book The Not So Big Life by Sarah Susanka. One thing he mentioned was the concept of your life being like a movie, and then having that feeling of why am I in this movie? If you’re answering with “I don’t know”, then it’s pretty clear something needs to change.

Several years ago, that question went through my head quite often. I had considered what life would be like without me in it and just wanted a break. It seemed like the weight on my shoulders was too much to bear. I’m grateful to say things turned around and particularly this year I re-inspired myself to not lose another 10 years to doing for everything and everyone else. Because at the end of the day if I’m not happy with my life and who I am, what else do I have.

In that spirit. I happened to love the movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murray. I always found it funny and cathartic. It’s a great metaphor for what many of us do, sometimes without even realizing it. We make decisions that are not ones towards a life we’d love but rather slow chips away at ending the one we’re in. But amazingly like the movie, changing your perspective, removing culprits from your life that bring you down, can make huge steps towards being in a life you actually like and want to wake up to and be alive for. You always have tomorrow as an opportunity to change the path.

Find that road not taken.

This picture and those vines feel like a metaphor for my life currently, well the past 9 years or so. We (Craig and I) had such clear dreams and plans for our lives back in 1998-1999. Then starting in 1999 it got chipped away at slowly and sometimes fast, over the next 10 years. Craig literally dealt with having his spine twisted at one point. Our efforts to keep the plan going seemed to get more and more complicated and frustrating. Here we are 10 years later and feeling like we’ve almost broken free from the vines and twists that tried to take over.

People reflected on the last 10 years with sadness of the financial crisis, housing crisis, political crisis. I looked back and said, “holy shit I survived it”. I really didn’t think I’d live to see 30. Between all the stresses over the past 10 years and then just my own health which I had put on a back burner it seemed inevitable this was going to be coming to an end. I don’t mean to sound doom and gloom, just felt like, really what else could be thrown at me.

Good Morning!
I’ve decided to focus on ONE goal for this week; getting up early, specifically between 5:00-5:30. I did ok this morning, I set alarms up to go off at 5:00, 5:15, 5:30 and 5:45. I did finally get up and going on the 5:45 one.

I cooked up turkey bacon, organic eggs, organic spinach, organic shredded cheese into an omelette. Had some Bolthouse juice and some organic coffee I brewed too! It was quite a morning.

I left on time for the Dentist in Danbury, got there 10 minutes early! Had a perfect visit, no cavities, no issues.

Oh and I even had some time to work on my scarf which I’ve neglected for quite a while!

And last night I “graduated” from physical therapy and am going to transition into their Wellness Program.

I’m feeling really good today!